Why do I spend so much on makeup/shopping?

Today I hauled. I was already trying and struggling to stay on my project 10 Pan but in a wave of negativity, temptation and self-loathing, I bought so much stuff.

What kicked started it was reading on temptalia that Chanel Rouge Allure Laques were being discountinued! I quite like this formulation and today was the 12% Tangs rebate, so I hustled my ass to Tangs. On the way there I kept questioning myself and asking "What are you doing? You should be studying not buying more makeup that you don't absolutely need" I asked this on my way there, up till when I was buying the items.

"Since I'm buying this, I might as well buy some other stuff too"

So this led to a downward spiral of me buying an item, loathing (yes seriously loathing) myself for buying it, and attempting to assuage the guilt by buying even more things.

Are the random urges that propel me to splurge on makeup nothing more than the shopoholic's version of binge eating?

Absolutely.

Introspection has unearthed that the times when I give in to the call of makeup is when I feel like crap, usually from the time of the month, or just general moodiness. I feel lethargic, unmotivated and buying stuff simply takes my mind off the wrenching-heartache-from-I-don't-know-what. It's when I'm motivated that and up to the challenge of life, that everything stays on track. Shows what a half-arsed life I lead. Oh quarter life crisis, I need to solve you!

The tried and proven solutions to get out of this emotional rut are:
1) Being very busy
2) Exercise
3) Sleep

Option 1 usually result in a relapse when the lull period comes but option 3 can result in me sleeping 12-16 hours a day! Perhaps that I've been on holiday and have stopped exercising for 2 weeks is a contributing factor to my current malaise.

So what to do? This problem needs to be solved, I can't spend all my life struggling with motivational issues (or can I? eeek!) and I must try to solve this problem to the best of my ability, since as a student, I don't have the budget for emotional shopping.

I think I need to enjoy life more. Sometimes thinking too much about a problem envelops you and makes it's presence felt so much stronger (like stop thinking about a white elephant). Everything takes time to change and I need to accept that. I can't be a better person immediately, but I can try and chip my way into carving out to be the person I want to be.

Love,
Tabby

Clearing out the graveyard of doom (i.e my bathroom cabinet)

I can't believe it's been 17 days since I last posted. I was on an adventurous trip: diving, trekking, jet-skiing, etc. Of course I was willing to miss school just to make myself available! My resolution led to humoungous pile of to-do-lists since there was work to be done for all the time that I was missing...which I only realized in November.

In times of great stress I like to take a time-out and de-clutter my room. Usually I tidy up my table before the start of focused studying, but this time around I decided to clear out the area that I only dare to take a small glimpse at before I hurridly throw more things inside. Yes it is the graveyard where beauty products are chucked in and left to grow cobwebs (oh how I wish this was rhetorical).

After 4(!) years of moving into my current abode, I finally decided to check what I have and do a clear out. I resolutely prepared a big black trashbag that could hide a body and started cleaning.

I found moisturizers that I can't even remember where or when I bought, big tubes of conditioners and small travel size products that I've never used that promptly went into the bin. Then I discovered a small white box, what could be inside?

You have got to be kidding me. 12 lipbalms of the same kind. I have yet to even finish 1 lipbalm in my life. At least the lipbalms feel pretty good and are supposed to be fantastic in cold weather *grumbles at my past self that bought this*

It can't be any worse right? Then I came across this

What on earth, I don't use body sprays or perfume, how did these things get in my cabinet?! The Biotherm body spray was so old that the plastic wrapped around the bottle had turned a nasty shade of yellow/brown and the silver rim of the bottle is flaking off. At least these scented water should still be usable...I think. I can count the number of times that I have used a fragrance simply because:

1) most of them are so overpowering to my nose

 2) I can't stand smelling perfume on myself.

BUT

I am such a cheapskate that I will make myself use these things *cries*

Then came the cherry on the topping

A lifting cream by Estee Lauder, a Silk Naturals Vitamin C serum that is to be used within 3 months of purchase which I bought 7 months ago, and 2 Clarins cream (do they even make them in this packaging anymore?!)

My Silk Naturals Green Tea and Oatmeal serum was smelling a bit sour so I trashed it and replaced it with the Estee Laude lifting cream, that I am using exclusively for my neck. My rule is when in doubt of a product, never use it on my face. The Estee Lauder bottle states that it can be used 24 months after opening, so it might still be good.

I persisted with the SN Vitamin C serum for a while, convincing myself that the serum is yellow, not brown and still usable. Alas, my face broke out during my diving trip and I decided to ditch this serum when I concluded that it's not worth risking the condition of my face. Oh the pain I felt at throwing money away. That truly made me resolute to finish as much of my products as possible.

The Clarins creams turned out to be a joke. The day cream smelled like vomit after squeezing it out, and the night one, while smelling fine intially, coagulated with oil in the joints of my body so I removed it with cleansing wipes. Thankfully, I never paid any money for these items. My mom had some extra Clarins product so she just passed them onto me...years ago.

Cleaning my cabinet has been eye-opening and depressing at the same time. I have so many hair products for long hair, many moisturizers and toners and it seems like it will take forever to get through any of it. In faith and hope, I shall turn to Project $50 10 pan, which will be discussed tomorrow.

P.S. The graveyard is also where I store all my BB creams. There isn't much space for them in an orderly cabinet, so I placed them into a shoe box.

Yep, it's all BB creams and related products. It's filled to the brim, I'm missing 2 other BB creams that are not at home with me and I gave my big bottle of BRTC Jasmine Water to a friend. I'm not kidding when I say I have a lot of something.

Haul: Naruko & ampm skincare + skinfast

I know that I'm on a 10 pan project for skincare BUT I made an order right before I started, and it came into the mail a few days ago.

Oh lookie here, a package for me :D

(L-R, ampm off hours express makeup removing water, Naruko Majoram and Lavender lotion dew, ampm skin ecological defense bb cream, ampm skin ecological indoor defense cream)

I ordered them because naruko.sg was having a 50% sale off some of their products and this meant that they cost a comparable amount to their orginal cost in taiwan. Now I have to stop myself from emploring my friends heading to taiwan to CP for me! Need to convince myself that buying something without using it does violate project 10 pan. So now they will sit prettily under my bathroom sink under I finish what I'm supposed to finish :D

Since I'm trying to do reviews for skincare, I'm going on a skincare fast of just cleanser and moisturizer at night, and cleanser and sunblock in the day for 2 weeks. It is hard to determine exactly how effective a product is without knowing what is the status quo of my skin but I refuse to live without moisturizer or sunblock (especially the latter). I suppose my makeup remover will affect to some degree as well, but these are issues that just has to be internalized. How can one live without sunblock or moisturizer?!

Rant: why are Korean bb creams so pink toned?!!

I really need to get this off my chest: why are Korean bb creams so pink toned?! Pink neutralizes yellow and makes you look fairer supposedly. Pink is not a flattering tone on Asian skin that is yellow toned, speaking from experience. I would rather clear luminating yellow toned or tanned skin. I have only seen two truly pale Asians, ones that are so white they can give Snow White a run for her money. Guess what, they are both from the northern region of china, and are in a constant battle with hyperpigmentation and freckles. So be careful for what you wish for...

What usually happens with pink toned bb creams is that you get the mask effect. The colour of your face and neck/chest area are totally different and there is a clear distinct boundary.  The last time I took a trip to Korea, I saw quite a few white mask ladies stewardesss, on the journey to and fro. It is not a flattering look.

While googling about how one should deal with a bb cream that is too light for you, I found a few blogs about how bb creams 'brighten' their face with a picture attached, and then I'll look at their neck. Perhaps there's silica in the bb cream giving a white cast when photographed but seriously, no. Get foundation instead. Even the shade 2 of bb creams that are supposed to match nc25-30, the range that I fall in, are pink toned and give me a ghostly unnatural look.

I'm just ranting because I have more than 10 bb creams that I bought in my bb cream craze but most of them are too light/too pink despite what the sales assistant claimed, oh the money that I wasted while trying to figure out which shades matches me. Thankfully the new generation of western and Japanese bb creams seem a bit more yellow toned, so I can't wait to explore them!

(Edited because as with most rants, I sounded like a foaming maniac with a staunch hate of the aspect in Korean culture that prefers pink toned fair skin. I simply find that it's not suitable for my undertone or skintone and having invested so much money into BB creams of various brands, it is a disappointment that I can't find one that matches my skintone well. It was an expensive learning experience in makeup, that pink toned bases really don't suit me, which enbittered me. Some girls can carry off the fair pink toned looked, but I have found very few of this rare breed in sunny singapore, without looking like they caked on makeup that is the wrong shade for them. I am trying out ways to use up the bb creams that I have, but who knows, maybe I might find one that will suit me, though I'm still struggling to use up certain ones (looking at you BRTC Jasmine water bb cream). I'll write more about bb creams on another day

Depotting most of my eyeshadows at 1am

So last night in the spirit of adventure and restlessness, I decided to depot all my small eyeshadow palettes and put them into the same container. This saves time and allows you to see shadows from palettes that you don't usually use. Seeing = higher chance of using that shadow. For me it was a chance to destroy and poke palettes that I don't really like :P

There are a few ways to depot shadows, one is by cutting the plastic around it and pry it out, another is the heat method by either melting the glue with a flat iron or a microwave. I didn't want to risk the chance of cutting/burning myself so I decided to use the alcohol method to dissolve the glue, courtesy of watching Jen's video The idea is to drop rubbing alcohol onto the sides of the pan to dissolve the glue around it. I bought my alcohol from Guardian a while back, so I started cracking them out!

Literally. Good thing most bloggers recommend starting out with a shadow that is your least favourite. I really don't like this silvery blue, way too frosty on my warm toned skin.

And it's out! Look at all the pretty light blue dusts and holes gouged in *whistles*

One of my first 2 palettes that was given to me. Way too frosty on my eyes. Turned me away from blue shimmery eyeshadow for a long long time. Even till now, I have quite an aversion for light blue eyeshadow and it didn't help that my eyeshadow application skill was non-existent at the time!

The other palette that I received along with the Cyber Shine eyes. The missing palette is the pink shadow, I forgot that I have not taken a photo till after I was done! Through Google, I finally figured out that my palette is the Michelle Yeoh palette. Just by looking at the photo, you can already tell what my problem with this palette is. She looks like she has an eye infection on her top lid for goodness sake. 

The back. Manufactured in 2007?!

The shadows are placed really tightly with into their slots, so I really had to dig to get them out.

Finally, after trying out on various eyeshadows, I lifted my chin up and decided to depot my NYX shadows, which were my favourite singles out of them all

Nude is the same colour as my lid and Brown when used with a damp brush is a little darker than my natural eye contour colour

They were really easy to depot though, lots of loose spaces in the corners :D

So pretty. So bulky.

I think this shade is in the theBalm shady lady volume 3?

So much product, how will I ever finish this. It's also a red tinted brown and knowing how I feel about red eyeshadows... I guess its time for me to experience applying eyeshadow as lipstick

My other small and pretty palettes! Should I? Why shouldn't I?! (spot the odd palette out, no prizes for guessing right)

I was in the midst of trying to depot this Kate palette when I realised that the cream eyeshadow on the extreme right cannot be removed :O So my kate palettes get to stay in one piece thanks to the cream eyeshadow

This palette popped out without any alcohol at all! Bought this from another person's stash. Honestly, I haven't even tried it yet

RD?! Another red palette?! This one looks a bit closer to pink tones though

You can tell how cheap makeup is when the metal container bends so easily

Honestly, these are pretty colours but they are so sparkly and not in a nice way

Fruits of my labour

My Unii palette is holding my La Femme blushes so I found an old abacus container from when I was 8 (!) and organized them there. Hopefully now that I can see most of them, they can be used more often.

Project 10 pan update: I walked into Watsons today and walked out without buying anything even though there was a sale on Silkygirl's lipgloss. So proud of myself. So this is day 3 without buying any makeup

Project 10 Pan Skincare edition

A short introduction to project 10 pan: a scheme for hoarders of makeup/skincare like myself to use up the products on our list before we can buy new ones. A skincare/makeup diet of sorts. In its original form, it only applies to makeup, but it can be adapted for skincare as well. The goal is to save money, explore your stash and play around with makeup by limiting choices (how ironic). Most of my money is drained by makeup but I do have occasional skincare crazes so I decided to do use up some of them before I invest into even more skincare!  I'm not including sunscreen or makeup removers since these are essentials but I need to slim down my skincare collection from those crazy moments where I believed the marketing schtick of slimming/clear skin/whitening/wrinkle free.

I was supposed to update a few days ago but my laptop died and I forgot to bring my charger from home. So here's the overdue skincare 10 pan!

                              (sorry for the messy table and poor Iphone 3G pics, trying to get a camera soon!)

(L-R, Burt's Bees Honey Lipbalm, Silk Naturals Fire- Cinnamon Lip Balm, L'oreal Youth Code Eye cream, Clarins Advanced Extra-Firming Eye contour serum)

My lips and eyes products! The Silk Naturals lipbalm is finishing soon, but I have a long long way to go for the Burt's Bees Lipbalm. I can't really comment on the Clarins or Lóreal eye cream since I don't have fine lines near my eyes, but this could be due to age or my use of differin. Either way, the cream are more for preventive care, so reviews will probably focus on whether they are too thick and give milia or pimples around the area.

(L-R, Silk Naturals Green Tea & Aloe serum, Physiogel Cream, St. Ives Collagen Elastin Facial Moisturizer, Missha Cool Fitting Body Gel, Clarins Hand and Nail Treatment Cream and Missha Time Revolution White Cure Dark Control Cream)

I bought the Silk Naturals serum when I was trying to combat my oily skin, and the Physiogel when my skin was peeling! My skin crazy, I know. The St Ives Facial moisturizer is a hard one for me, I bought it because of all the reviews on Amazon.com but I was a little freaked out by the high mineral oil content in the jar. So instead I'm using this moisturizer as a part time makeup remover, I'll double cleanse with it, followed by my cleanser in the shower. Since mineral oil is used for makeup removal and moisturizers are meant to be used and left on the face, it can't be too bad right?

The Missha items were bought in South Korea when I was shopping at Incheon airport. It was before the duty free section, outside the departure gate that I saw Etude House and Missha having a 50% sale! Barely saw any tourists or locals there but spotted many air stewardess in their airline's trademark uniforms :D Most of the items were gone, especially from the White Cure line so I grabbed what was left. Some people buy 'holiday clothes', clothes that you think are nice overseas, but when you go back to your native country, you can't figure out when or where to wear them. I buy 'holiday skincare', I'm really not into whitening (I'm yellowish tone by nature) and I find most slimming products to be a bit of a hoax. The Clarins handcream was a gift but my (fussy/picky) mom loves this product. All of them are definitely interesting items that I'll be reviewing in the future! Thinking about it 4 of the above items are 'holiday skincare' and 2 others are online buys. Oh the ways that I've been spending my money...

Total cost of this project 10 pan = ~SGD$200? Can't remember most of the prices since I bought them a long time ago and I need to finish up before they expire!

Tomorrow is my makeup 10 pan post! (or is it?)

Project 10 Pan! Will I succeed before I go bonkers?

So new blog and new resolution, to do a project 10 pan skincare and makeup! My obsession with skincare and makeup have caused me to accumulate and buy far Far more than I will ever need. Thankfully the skincare phase passed last year, but with February, my new makeup addiction started in full force. As the old adage adage goes, I have too many products but only 1 face!

So this will be my journey of trying to slim down my makeup collection, to the bare essentials (right now that seems like a far off dream) and saving some money. I suppose along the way I'll do some reviews so that I can remember what I like/dislike and why! So I'll make my 10 pan skincare post soon!