Why do I spend so much on makeup/shopping?

Today I hauled. I was already trying and struggling to stay on my project 10 Pan but in a wave of negativity, temptation and self-loathing, I bought so much stuff.

What kicked started it was reading on temptalia that Chanel Rouge Allure Laques were being discountinued! I quite like this formulation and today was the 12% Tangs rebate, so I hustled my ass to Tangs. On the way there I kept questioning myself and asking "What are you doing? You should be studying not buying more makeup that you don't absolutely need" I asked this on my way there, up till when I was buying the items.

"Since I'm buying this, I might as well buy some other stuff too"

So this led to a downward spiral of me buying an item, loathing (yes seriously loathing) myself for buying it, and attempting to assuage the guilt by buying even more things.

Are the random urges that propel me to splurge on makeup nothing more than the shopoholic's version of binge eating?

Absolutely.

Introspection has unearthed that the times when I give in to the call of makeup is when I feel like crap, usually from the time of the month, or just general moodiness. I feel lethargic, unmotivated and buying stuff simply takes my mind off the wrenching-heartache-from-I-don't-know-what. It's when I'm motivated that and up to the challenge of life, that everything stays on track. Shows what a half-arsed life I lead. Oh quarter life crisis, I need to solve you!

The tried and proven solutions to get out of this emotional rut are:
1) Being very busy
2) Exercise
3) Sleep

Option 1 usually result in a relapse when the lull period comes but option 3 can result in me sleeping 12-16 hours a day! Perhaps that I've been on holiday and have stopped exercising for 2 weeks is a contributing factor to my current malaise.

So what to do? This problem needs to be solved, I can't spend all my life struggling with motivational issues (or can I? eeek!) and I must try to solve this problem to the best of my ability, since as a student, I don't have the budget for emotional shopping.

I think I need to enjoy life more. Sometimes thinking too much about a problem envelops you and makes it's presence felt so much stronger (like stop thinking about a white elephant). Everything takes time to change and I need to accept that. I can't be a better person immediately, but I can try and chip my way into carving out to be the person I want to be.

Love,
Tabby